Let me start with a summary of a story I heard from another advisor:

“A client once told me his 11-year-old daughter, while eating chicken nuggets, turned to him and said,
“Dad, are we rich?”

He paused, smiled, and replied,
“Well… kinda.”

She thought about that for a second, then said,
“Okay, cool. Can I buy a llama?”

That, my friends, is what we call a teachable moment.

What’s Actually Being Taught?

Whether we realize it or not, every dinner table conversation, every Amazon package dropped at the door, and every “just put it on the card” moment… is teaching our kids something about money.

The question is: Are we teaching them the right things?

Because here’s what the data says:

  • 70% of wealthy families lose their wealth by the second generation.
  • 90% lose it by the third.
    (Source: Williams Group wealth consultancy)

That’s not because their investments went bad. It’s because their values didn’t transfer with their assets.

The Real Legacy Is the Lesson

Look—I’m all for building portfolios, optimizing taxes, and making sure Uncle Sam doesn’t get more than his fair share. But if the next generation thinks “net worth” is just a number on a screen and not a reflection of stewardship, we’ve missed the mark.

Ask yourself:

  • Do your kids know where money comes from?
  • Have they seen you give, save, and invest—not just spend?
  • Do they understand the why behind your wealth?

If that last question makes you pause, good. That’s the dinner table test in action.

So What Do You Say at Dinner?

Here are a few starters I’ve seen work wonders:

  • “What do you think it means to be ‘rich’?”
  • “What would you do with $10,000?”
  • “Why do you think we give to charity?”
  • “What’s something you’d never want to waste money on?”

(Pro tip: You’ll learn more about your kids from these answers than any report card ever could.)

Planning Isn’t Just About Numbers

When we work with families, we’re not just mapping out estate plans and optimizing taxes (though yes, we absolutely do that). We’re helping clients pass on wisdom, not just wealth.

If your plan doesn’t account for the values behind the money, you’re just handing over a vault with no combination.

That’s why part of our planning includes conversations about legacy—not in the stuffy boardroom sense, but in the “What stories do you want your grandkids to hear?” sense.

Takeaway:

Your kids are watching. Learning. Absorbing.

So maybe tonight, skip the “How was school?” and ask something different:
“What do you think money is for?”

Then just listen. You might be surprised.

If you’d like to talk about how to align your money with your message—and prepare your family for more than just inheritance—let’s talk. We’ll leave the llamas out of it. (Probably.)